Students in University Still Need Active Parenting By As-Sayyidul Arafat Abdulrazaq
“It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a parent to stay involved.”
That unforgettable message echoed through the halls during a sensitization event jointly organized by the Nigeria Governors’ Spouses’ Forum (NGSF) and the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) early this month.
Held under the theme, “Drug Prevention, Treatment, and Care (DPTC)”, the gathering was more than just another policy meeting—it was a wake-up call.
First Ladies (wives of governors, specifically) from across Nigeria sat side by side with key actors in government, education, and civil society to confront a disturbing reality: too many parents withdraw their presence once their children leave for university.
Speaker after speaker underscored this point, but perhaps none struck harder than the Dean of Student Affairs at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH), Ogbomoso.
“Students are admitted into universities at a tender age—most are under 20,” he said. “Parents don’t visit. They drop their children off and vanish.”
This hands-off approach, though often well-meaning, can be catastrophic. For many young Nigerians, university is the first taste of unfiltered freedom—no curfews, no questions, no daily accountability.
But that freedom, left unattended, can quickly become a trap. And drugs are waiting in that trap. When parental presence disappears, peer pressure steps in.
When guidance fades, risky experimentation begins. And when emotional support goes missing, dangerous dependencies take root.
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One of the most gut-wrenching moments at the event came from Dr. Abubakar Salami, a recovering drug addict who now runs Mubdhab Homes Limited. His voice trembled as he spoke.
“I have been in a dark place,” he said quietly. “And it is the darkest place to be.” His journey through addiction, though now behind him, offered a window into the drug culture haunting our campuses.
“In school,” he warned, “drug addicts target rich kids so they can fund their drug lifestyle. Success has many friends.” The message from the event was not about helicopter parenting or intrusive control.
It was about presence—the kind that anchors, affirms, and alerts. It was about staying involved, not to police, but to protect. Parental involvement means maintaining regular phone and video calls with your children, even when they are away at school.
It means making time to visit them occasionally on campus to check in personally. It also means paying close attention to changes in their mood or behavior that might signal trouble.
Parents should encourage open conversations about stress, peer pressure, and relationships, creating a safe space for their children to share their struggles. Most importantly, they must continue to reinforce family values and principles, even from a distance.
As NDLEA Chairman Brig. Gen. Buba Marwa aptly put it, “Parents will see what lecturers, school officials, and guardians won’t—because they’ve known their children all their lives.”
University does not mean your child is grown. It simply means they are growing—and that is when they need you the most. Your presence is not a limitation. It is protection.
So, if you think your job is done when your child leaves for school, think again. The real work is just beginning. Because when freedom is unguarded, it becomes a door—sometimes into darkness.
As-Sayyidul Arafat Abdulrazaq is a corps member serving with the Centre for Crisis Communication (CCC), Abuja. He can be reached via: [email protected].